What our words communicate: I’ve been thinking about the words we use. We are sensitive to some words and my question is why. What is it about a word that stirs within us such strong emotion? The words I’ve been pondering of recent days are the words winner and loser. The word winner implies that there are losers. Who wants to be a loser – let me see your hands! That’s what I thought, nobody wants to be a loser. Nobody wants to be treated as though they are a loser, when they didn’t win. So, when we make reference to someone’s character as being a winner, then is everyone else a non-performer or lacking in success?
Research teaches us that fear of failure is one of the greatest fears. Fear of failure is closely related to fear of criticism and fear of rejection. Successful people overcome their fear of failure. Fear incapacitates unsuccessful people. Want to be successful? Me too! I guess that overcoming fear of failure is the way to do it. How do I accomplish that and how do I help others toward that end?
If my absolute goal is enriching the life of every women I’ll ever encounter, then I must help put aside the fear of failure (theirs and mine!). I think one way toward that goal is to think carefully about choosing my words when I am communicating to women. I have looked at the choices and have decided that rather than talking about women who are winners, I will instead talk about women who are achievers. It takes the emotion of competition away. Everyone can achieve. Not everyone can win or wants to compete. I have also thought about the realm of prizes. I will be choosing to affirm the achiever with an award or reward. An award is something granted, as for merit. The person earned the award based on the conditions. Again, there is no win / lose; it is succeeding at meeting the conditions or objective.
I think that in our flawed way of thinking we get overly caught up on competition and comparison to others. Our competition should reside within. Am I a better person today than yesterday? Am I working toward the goals I have set? Do I achieve? Am I becoming the best me that I can be today? That is my goal for myself, and that is what I will be encouraging the women I encounter. Be an achiever. Eyes should be focused on personal individual goals.
Praising women to success is a Motto in the world of Mary Kay. That act is one of the reasons I love the business. Who doesn’t like to be praised? Everyone appreciates a kind word and recognition. Praise everyone for his or her achievements, big or small. Any goal achieved is worth our praise and recognition.
I know that those reading this that come from a sports world would say “yeah, but somebody has to win”. OK, I will agree that in the world of sports someone does win and someone does lose. But we generally don’t treat the losers as if they are losers. They get another chance at the next game. They keep working on improving. And that brings me full circle to where I began. Nobody wants to be a loser. Nobody wants to be treated as a loser. Mary Kay Ash said that God didn't have time to make a nobody, only a somebody. She believed that each of us has God-given talents within us waiting to be brought to fruition.
I'll be watching my choice of words. Help me to achieve my goal!
Everyone can achieve. Not everyone can win or wants to compete.
Posted by: Becky | March 29, 2006 at 08:52 AM