Women of Excellence

Easter

He is Risen!  He is Risen indeed... this was the greeting of the early church and it was the greeting today.  What a wonderful day of celebration.  What a wonderful day in the life of a christian.

Currently I'm reading a book witten by Fred Smith, Sr.  It is from the Pastor's Soul Series called "Leading with Integrity: Compentence with Christian Character".  I love this book.  He talks about Character as being sectional as is a grapefruit.  There are dozens of sections to a leader and the leader may be strong in many and yet a leader can be undone by weakness in even one or two.  Hes speaks in the introduction about the danger of  the church  trying to do God's work in man's way. He asks the question " As we go about our work, what are we responsible for, and what do we depend on God for?"  This is the principle that he has learned:  God will not do for me what I can do for myself, but He will not let me do for myself what only He can do.  God has given him (Fred Smith Jr) intellingence and created opportunities that he has taken responsibility by using his gifts fully.

When I read that, I thought about myself.  I am blessed with wonderful teaching.  I have intelligence also and have been gifted - so am I fully using my gifts. 

The author of the book said that in his 60+ years of business experience, nobody ever said he had a flawed character.  It is easier to criticize and admit a lack of skill than to admit a character weakness.
If we are paying close attention to those around us we would agree that what we see is not a lack of skill but weakness in character.

I remember my children in their early elementary years of Christian School did character traits and Character study of bible personalities.  I am so thankful for that teaching.  I still today have  that curriculum sitting here in my office. I think that early teaching of those essential elements shapes us and forms us for God's work.  The church must be involved in character building, helping men and women to grow into maturity of Christ.

I recall sitting on the floor of Mike and Wanda Farra's dining room one Sunday night for High School leaders meeting and we shared Col 1:28-29.   ²⁸ We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ.  ²⁹ To this end I strenuously contend with all the energy Christ so powerfully works in me.  That was a life changing moment.  You know how I know that?  I remember where I was, who I was with and what I was wearing.  That was 20+ years ago.  Here I am today reading this book on integrity and being convicted once again that I am to be admonishing and teaching everyone with wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature.

Fred Smith, Sr says that women learn and adapt to relational leadership more naturally than men.  Our intuition is generally much better than men's.  Our desire for good relationships is stornger, and our vision is just as expansive as men's.  We lead with subtlety and finesse that men hope for.   He also says that we do things right because it is the right thing to do.  I don't know this man, and I won't argue his points.  I like what he says and so I agree with this thought about women, however I don't know what qualifies him to make such statements other than lifetime observation.

His life goal: facing the Lord and hearing him say "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."

Could there be any ambition that would supercede Fred Smith, Jr's life goal?  Isn't that everyone's goal?  Maybe not, but I am certain that  I share that goal with Mr Smith.

So far in the book the author shares seven themes from Francois Fenelon, the French mystic of three hundred years ago.  As I continue to read through this book I will be sharing my thoughts on the themes.  They are character builders so stay tuned.

weekend stuff

Where in the world does the time go?  It is Sunday night and I don't want the weekend to be over.  Why can't there be 4day weekends and 3 day work weeks?  Honestly, who thought working 5 days in a row was ever a good idea.

I was invited to be a judge for the Orange County 4-H dress review.  It was just a wonderful time.  It bought back some wonderful memories and I enjoyed it thoroughly.  The competition was outstanding this year. The age group I judged was 14 - 18 yrs.  I worked with two other women, picking the top candidates who will be entered into the regional and then moving to state.  I can remember every dress review I was ever in, yes, all 10 of them.

I joined 4-H when I was 10 years old and participated until I was 20 - then they kicked me out. The rule was that you could not be in after age 20.  I don't know if there is still that age qualification or not.   I learned so much from those years of competition.  I learned skills and I learned leadership.  I am so happy to be able to give back just a tiny bit.

The outstanding moments of my 4-H experience is almost always summed up in the women who were my leaders.  Women that I respected and admired.  Women who seemed bigger than life to me and so accomplished.  I only dreamed of ever being like them. They were encouragers as well as enforcers of the rules, teaching me how to win a ribbon and compete.  I have a box full of 4-H pins and ribbons that are reminders that with encouragement and discipline great things can be accomplished. At least they were great things when I was 11 or 12 years old. 

I will never forget my first demonstration project.  I thought I would die before I finished that thing.  I had it memorized and practiced until I knew it forward and backward.  Of course infront of judges, my mind blanked and I did the demonstration on autopilot.  I couldn't remember one thing I was supposed to say and don't know what I said when I was done.  I learned that delivery of a speach while doing a presentation takes way more skill than I every thought.  Guess what?  I learned the skill and next time did it flawlessly.  I competed in demostrations state wide.

The projects I took in 4-H were many.  I consistently took clothing all 10 years.  I took foods, demonstration, electricity, and horses.  When I was in high school I was a Jr Leader and was  an officer in the Jr Leader group.  Yep, I kept my parents on the road hauling me around alot....

Wonderful memories...  I'm so grateful for the things I learned as a kid.  I still today use those skills.  Who would have ever thought???   

Achieve/ Believe

What our words communicate:  I’ve been thinking about the words we use.  We are sensitive to some words and my question is why.  What is it about a word that stirs within us such strong emotion?  The words I’ve been pondering of recent days are the words winner and loser.  The word winner implies that there are losers.  Who wants to be a loser – let me see your hands!  That’s what I thought, nobody wants to be a loser. Nobody wants to be treated as though they are a loser, when they didn’t win.  So, when we make reference to someone’s character as being a winner, then is everyone else a non-performer or lacking in success?

Research teaches us that fear of failure is one of the greatest fears. Fear of failure is closely related to fear of criticism and fear of rejection. Successful people overcome their fear of failure. Fear incapacitates unsuccessful people.  Want to be successful?  Me too!  I guess that overcoming fear of failure is the way to do it.  How do I accomplish that and how do I help others toward that end?

If my absolute goal is enriching the life of every women I’ll ever encounter, then I must help put aside the fear of failure (theirs and mine!). I think one way toward that goal is to think carefully about choosing my words when I am communicating to women.  I have looked at the choices and have decided that rather than talking about women who are winners, I will instead talk about women who are achievers.  It takes the emotion of competition away. Everyone can achieve.  Not everyone can win or wants to compete. I have also thought about the realm of prizes. I will be choosing to affirm the achiever with an award or reward.  An award is something granted, as for merit.  The person earned the award based on the conditions. Again, there is no win / lose; it is succeeding at meeting the conditions or objective. 

I think that in our flawed way of thinking we get overly caught up on competition and comparison to others.  Our competition should reside within.  Am I a better person today than yesterday?  Am I working toward the goals I have set? Do I achieve? Am I becoming the best me that I can be today?  That is my goal for myself, and that is what I will be encouraging the women I encounter.  Be an achiever.  Eyes should be focused on personal individual goals.

Praising women to success is a Motto in the world of Mary Kay.  That act is one of the reasons I love the business.  Who doesn’t like to be praised?  Everyone appreciates a kind word and recognition.  Praise everyone for his or her achievements, big or small.  Any goal achieved is worth our praise and recognition.   

I know that those reading this that come from a sports world would say “yeah, but somebody has to win”.  OK, I will agree that in the world of sports someone does win and someone does lose.  But we generally don’t treat the losers as if they are losers.  They get another chance at the next game.  They keep working on improving.  And that brings me full circle to where I began.  Nobody wants to be a loser. Nobody wants to be treated as a loser. Mary Kay Ash said that God didn't have time to make a nobody, only a somebody. She believed that each of us has God-given talents within us waiting to be brought to fruition.

I'll be watching my choice of words.  Help me to achieve my goal!  

The Indespensable Woman/ Man

OK, today I was challenged to find out more about BEING your Best; I of course googled it first and found a guy named Brian Tracey.  Addmittedly I didn't know this person.  So, I googled him.  What did I find.  He's a Big 'Ol Deal in the world of Leadership and Coaching/ Mentoring.  Who Knew?    He has this sort of Budda quality.  I read a bunch of stuff - one thing I found was the following poem.  It made me think about how much I want to serve and be excellent  and how in doing that, IF my motive is ego related, it really doesn't matter a whole lot.  My soul is humbled and at the same time refreshed knowing that I am dispensable and that I'm not in charge of the world.

Make it a Great Day

Sharon

THE INDISPENSABLE MAN
-- From This England’s book of Parlour Poetry

Some time when you’re feeling important
Some time when you ego’s in bloom
Some time when you take it for granted
You’re the best qualified man in the room
Some time when you feel that your going
Would leave an unfillable hole
Just follow these simple instructions
And see how it humbles your soul:

Take a bucket and fill it with water
Dip your hand in it up to your wrist
Pull it out, and the hole that’s remaining
Is a measure of how much you’ll be missed.

You may splash all you like when you enter
You may stir up the water galore
But stop and you’ll find in a moment
That it looks quite the same as before.

The moral of this quaint example
Is to do just the best that you can
Be proud of yourself, but remember
There is no indispensable man!

Women around the World

Thanks to a wonderful woman I know, Rebekah Cooke, I have recently been introduced to the BBC news.  This article came up today, reminding me that Women around the world do have choices and they are making them.  What do women of this small Indian community want?  They want education, they want freedom of choice, freedom of religion and they want to be in control of their finances.  Humm not so different than where we live.  Someone needs to send them a Mary Kay recruiting packet.  I'd say here is an group of women who would embrace the opportunity.   Enjoy the article.  What are your thoughts?

Toda threatened as women break out

The Toda tribe in India - one of the country's smallest communities - is gradually breaking up as its women marry men from outside. Is this the end for the Toda?

The Toda are based in the Nilgiri Hills in southern India, and number around 1,700. While the tribe's men own property and work in agriculture, the women are renowned for their skills and embroidery. They are not allowed near the tribe's tall temples.

But growing numbers are rejecting their tribal traditions and its highly patriarchal society.

"When a girl is very young, they decide who she is to marry," Jaikumari Piljane, a Toda woman who got married outside the tribe - to a Tamil film star - told BBC World Service's Everywoman programme.

"They exchange buffalos - that is the tradition. So when she comes of age, she is sent off to the boy's house. They then have babies at a very early age.

"But now it is not like that - the girls want to study."

Wanting to achieve

Ms Piljane has also broken with tradition in a number of other ways - reflecting the experiences of many of the tribe's women.

Her family converted to Christianity two decades ago, and she was educated at a convent school. She now runs a co-operative helping Toda women achieve financial independence.

"They want to achieve something," she said.

Most of the women's demands are never taken seriously within Toda areas Dr Jakra Patasathi, Tribal Research Centre

"They can't find husbands in the tribe, because most of the time the boys go into agriculture, and cannot afford it - they go at a loss.

"So they lease out their land to outsiders. Then when they need money, they take out ever-larger loans until they can't cope. When they can't cope with that, they start drinking.

"That's the problem with the boys today, whereas the girls want a different life."

Dr Jakra Patasathi is the director of the Tribal Research Centre in the Nilgiri district and has studied the history of the Todas.

She says the women struggle because the flow of money is only between men.

"Most of the women's demands are never taken seriously within Toda areas."

"A lot of turning points in Toda society are because of this revolt of Toda women, who have felt their men have become an obstacle to their advancement."

But Mutsin, a grandmother within the tribe, said that although her own niece had broken with tradition and chosen not to marry, she would like to "keep the traditions" in some way.

"Women used to sit in the sun, dance and sing," she added.

"But it is still better they come out and get educated.

"The ones who come out can then more easily guide the ones still inside."

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/south_asia/4760282.stm

Published: 2006/03/21 15:35:25 GMT

© BBC MMVI

What I learned today

Tonight, Monday, was my weekly MK Success Meeting.  My adopted director, Patricia Schneider http://www.unitnet.com/patriciaschneider/ had Pat Pearson training.  We listened to a CD on Passion and Purpose.  What did I get from the training.  One statement stood out to me like a bright light.  She was talking about Teleos (sp) and said "Irritation is destiny calling".  YIKES.  Think that thought for a moment.  I think about the times I'm irritated because I didn't finish a goal, or even set one.  I think about the times I have strong desire and then don't follow through.  That irritation that I experience is destiny calling to me.  I don't know about you, but I loved that....

Guess what!  I got a pink velvet pouch in the mail today with a silver necklace in it with a heart.  WoW. What a day. 

Fear and its effects . . . Fax for Life by Rick Warren

This was sent to me tonight from Linda Toupin.  The encouragement is welcome.  Fear is one of my biggest battles.  I can relate to each one of these to  some degree.  How about you?  Being a  Christian and  knowing  Gods purpose for my life, there is no room for fear, yet it still creeps in.   I hope that you find power in the words from Pastor Rick Warren.
WHAT YOUR FEARS DO TO YOU
By Rick Warren
The single greatest barrier to your becoming all you're meant to be is inside you.  It's not the circumstances around you... it's not the people with you ... it’s the fear in you!

Your unconscious fears have four devastating effects on your life:

            1. FEAR PARALYZES YOUR POTENTIAL.   It keeps your talents locked up...holds you back ...and causes you to miss opportunities.  The great Swiss psychiatrist, Paul Tournier, once said this: "All of us have reservoirs of full potential, vast areas of great satisfaction, but the road that leads to those reservoirs is guarded by the dragon of fear."  If you've ever been afraid to try anything, you know that fear creates a self-imposed prison.

            2.  FEAR RUINS MY RELATIONSHIPS.   It's the root of many of your "people problems".  Fear prevents you from being honest with others.  You fear rejection - so you wear a mask, pretend to be what you aren't, and deny what you really feel.  Fear also keeps you from making commitments.  You may be afraid of being hurt again.  Fear prevents true intimacy because fearful people have a hard time giving and receiving love.  Your fears affect everyone you relate to.

            3.  FEAR HINDERS MY HAPPINESS.   Alfred Hitchcock admitted, "I turn my fears into movies." (Which we then pay to see!)  Like movies, we replay our fears over and over in our mind: What if....what if... what if....?  You can't be happy and fearful at the same time.  The Bible says "Worry robs you of happiness." (Pr. 12:25 GN)  How often are you worn out by your worries?

            4.  FEAR SABOTAGES MY SUCCESS.   Have you ever said or thought, "I was afraid that would happen"?  We often set ourselves up for failure - by focusing on what we fear will happen rather than what we want to happen.  Fear creates what it fears. The Bible says, "Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts." (Pr. 4:23 GN)

            As a human being, you were born with only two natural fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.  (You can see these in babies.)  All your other fears were learned - from experience... parents... peers...and others.  So the good news is this: whatever is learned can be unlearned! You don't have to hold onto your fears.  There are several steps to unlearning your fears but here's how you get started: "I prayed to the Lord and he answered me; He freed me from all my fears."  (Ps. 34:4 GN)

Second day of learning

Today is my second attempt at doing anything like this.  I have some experts who will guide me.  I'm thankful for that.

March 19,2006

This is my first night to blog.  I'm just creating it.  I am looking forward to using this for great times of sharing.